


A Fear of Intimacy

by SapphireNight



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Deal With the Devil, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Favours, Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Investigation, Rape Recovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 23:35:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20054386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireNight/pseuds/SapphireNight
Summary: Lucifer's always been comfortable with sex; proud of it even. But when a young woman comes to him asking for a rather more unusual sexual-based favour, the Devil is dumbfounded. Because she had been raped two years previously, and the bedroom still holds considerable terror. So what will happen when she asks the Devil for help overcoming her fears? (Rating for mature themes. Note, non-con warning is for character backstory ONLY, it is not an ‘active’ warning.)





	A Fear of Intimacy

**Author's Note:**

> First off, thanks for clicking on and for reading. I really do hope you enjoy this story; I have it significantly planned out and partially drafted, so hopefully you'll be here a little while. This is a short story, possibly four or five chapters.
> 
> Secondly, biggest thanks to my beta, DocWordsmith for your help! I'm actually a Brit, this is my first time writing for an American fandom in quite some time so they've been a great help in making sure I'm using right terms and that it all sounds decent. Massive thanks also to my Pedantic friend Richard for your valuable advice and garden threats. This story wouldn't be what it is without your valuable help and advice, the both of you.
> 
> WARNINGS: This story deals with some very adult subjects, so please be aware if this is something which might affect you or be triggering. There is a major attack (rape) in the main OC's past, and this underpins the entire story. There will not be any flashback-type scenes of the attack itself, or other other scenes of a non-consensual nature. The attack will be mentioned at various points and described in some small detail, but not explicitly. The last chapter will also contain an explicit, consensual sex scene, but I will give warnings when we get to that.
> 
> Nothing belongs to me; I invented the characters Lisa and Jen, but other than that I'm just playing with someone else's toys!
> 
> Enjoy!

When Jen had first suggested it, Lisa had thought she was joking. She had to have been joking, right?

"Hey Lis, I know just the perfect guy to get over your little '_fear of intimacy_' with! I mean it, seriously! Not to be insensitive or anything like, I know it was really traumatic, but oh my God, if this guy didn't just give me the best ride of my life! The things he did with his—"

Lisa had tuned her out by this point as per normal (in fact, she'd avoided her for two whole days after), but the fact that Jen had even brought it up was unusual. They _never_ talked about it- not since Lisa had gotten a little too tipsy that one night at Jen's house and the whole blubbering story had come out. About how she had been attacked once. Raped. And how even though it was a couple of years ago now and she'd been doing her best to get past it and 'move on', she was still having trouble being intimate with her current boyfriend. Her first boyfriend since it'd happened.

It'd taken her so long to find that someone she could give that title to again; she'd been _so_ _proud_ it was a sign she was 'getting back to normal'. She'd always been too quiet, too shy. But at least she could say she was a normal twenty year old with a normal boyfriend and she was moving on with her life. Or so everyone kept telling her.

She hadn't told Jen that a couple of weeks ago he'd broken it off. Couldn't see things progressing if she still didn't trust him enough. Hell knows what Jen would've made of that- or have done, but Lisa could understand; he'd been more than patient with her. But a normal girl would be able to recognise that the person touching her wasn't the horror from her nightmares.

She just wished that 'returning to normal' wasn't such a painfully unobtainable thing.

"You're crazy, Jen. Completely nuts."

"Well yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm not _satisfied!_ You know, Lis, I'm sure he'd sleep with you if you asked him, he doesn't seem particularly picky… He's clean though! Don't worry, I'm not a complete idiot! But I'm telling you, you will have a good time with him, I swear."

As if what had happened was just some little event that could be fixed by having a one-night-stand. She couldn't even have sex with her own boyfriend, how was sleeping with a complete stranger going to 'cure' things?

Had it been anyone else who'd said it Lisa would have given them a hearty slap and refused to have talked to them again. But with Jen it was different. She brought her out of her quiet shell. Yes, Jen was a bit of a party girl, and a bit of a shameless fun-seeker, but her heart was in the right place. She wasn't a dunce, and wasn't one to be callous, especially unintentionally. She was big, and she was bold, and she also tended to be right.

It hadn't exactly filled Lisa with promise, but the simple enthusiasm of her good friend (even whilst mildly inebriated) had swayed her into accepting a rare night out a couple days later.

And so the two were now standing in the line outside Lux, the nightclub that the guy apparently _owned_, waiting for the opportunity to do the inconceivable and ask the club owner to sleep with them (separately, of course. And 'again', as in Jen's case.)

~

Lisa had regretted it almost immediately, from the moment Jen had rapped on her apartment door in naught but a couple of loosely draped triangles over her top half and a boob-tube of fabric covering her lower. She'd added a shimmery sequinned top to 'make it all decent' but that wasn't saying much. Lisa by comparison was significantly overdressed but there was no way in hell she was removing anything.

Arriving at the club had been simple (other than the 'sheltered' side of her resisting the trip to the unknown), and the place was really quite attractively done up Lisa had thought, in a bemused, numb sort of way, but then came the waiting, in a line surrounded by others just there to have a good time. Lisa didn't consider herself a prude by general means, but there was something about being surrounded by others so blatantly brazen and _comfortable_ in their own skin. When you very much were not, every square inch of flesh on show became a cumulative reminder of just how very _damaged_ you were.

They had been waiting for what felt like an eternity - though she was sure by LA standards it was actually progressing rather quickly. The closer they got to the door, the colder her feet became. Yet another pair of barely-dressed girls walked by to join on behind them, their attire so fleeting they could have been exotic dancers.

Finally at the front of the line, Jen gave the bouncer a sultry smile and knowing wink (had she met him before?), though he still barred the way with a polite, indifferent smile. Lisa's stomach was tied up in knots- what was she doing here; this wasn't her! She wasn't the party girl - wasn't the one to dress up in scanty clothes and throw herself onto the dance floor as if nothing mattered; and she certainly wasn't the type of girl to ask a stranger to sleep with her - or anyone for that matter. This was simply ridiculous; what was she doing!

A young, clean-suited man strolled up past the waiting line and nodded at the bouncer to walk on through as if he owned the place, turning slightly to glance at those he'd overtaken. His eyes slid past Lisa as if she wasn't there, but they caught instantly on Jen. He leered a hungry grin at her as they watched him, raking his cool eyes over her whole body and devouring her. It was dirty, ugly, dangerous. Lisa's nerve finally left her.

She fled. Bolted from the line, and fled into the opening of the nearby alley. Not her favourite type of place, but anything to get away from the heat and noise and neon lights of the club entranceway. Jen, to her credit, had followed immediately with not the slightest hint of frustration she must have been feeling. Despite her many faults, being a bad friend wasn't one of them.

"I can't do this- I just can't do this!"

"Lisa, it's alright. I'm sorry, it was a stupid suggestion."

"Jen, that guy—"

"That guy was just an asshole; ignore him, LA's full of them. Lisa, look at me, it's alright."

"No, it's not! It's not! I can't just ask a stranger to have sex with me!"

Jen resisted the urge to throw out, _'What, like I did? Its the 21st century!'_

"Hey, hey- you really don't have to if you don't want to. Look, I know, I'm sorry; I got carried away. I thought, if anyone could… But I know that's not you. I should have thought of that before I made you come out with me; but seriously, Lis, this guy can do it!"

"_I don't want someone who can just 'do it'!_" Lisa screamed. "I don't _want_ someone who's _'a good fuck' _that can _screw it all_ into_ oblivion! _I don't know what I want, but… _it's not that_!" Jen had the good sense to look chastised.

There was a deadened silence. In the distance, the chattering and cacophony of the LA nightlife continued on without them.

"You said this guy also deals in favours?" Lisa asked after a few moments. Jen raised an eyebrow in expectation; she nodded.

"And his name's 'Lucifer'? As in…"

"Oh, come off it Lis, he's not the real Devil. It's just a stage name—"

"It most certainly is not!" An indignant male voice interrupted from the shadows.

Standing in the mouth of the alleyway, blocking the exit, stood the tall, imposing silhouette of a man. Lucifer's eyes seemed to gleam in the darkness as he surveyed the two women caught like deer in the headlights.

~*~

"Jenifer, how lovely to see you again." Lucifer drawled. "Back for more already, hmm? And who is your little friend?"

"This is Lisa. She also wants to sleep with you!"

"_Jen!_"

"Ooh, a threesome, how delightful… Well, as much as I appreciate the offer, it doesn't much seem as if your 'plus one' wants to join in."

"Well, I was sorta meaning separately…" Jen muttered quietly.

"Yes, and I'm sure your friend enjoys playing with your cast-offs. Be kind! It looks as if she's two breaths from either disowning you completely or running off and joining a nunnery!

"Now, my dear, it's perfectly obvious why Jenifer came here, and I don't blame her in the slightest, I am completely irresistible. But I don't think the old 'nocturnal gymnastics' are quite your thing."

"I… I do want you to have sex with me." Lisa said, as if she was announcing she wanted his assistance to throw herself off a cliff.

"Well, I'll be damned again. Life's full of surprises, huh. I'll tell you now, though, the 'lost little Bambi' thing isn't exactly my usual cup of hot, smoking whisky. I tend to prefer my bed-partners willing. Very willing, in fact. So if that is all you have to offer…?"

Jen elbowed Lisa in the ribs.

"I need a favour"

"Great! Now we're getting somewhere!"

"She really does need you to sleep with her."

"Jenifer, if you've not got anything sensible to contribute… go head down into Lux and I'll come collect you shortly."

Jen crossed her arms and stood her ground. Lucifer sighed, before turning his attention back to Lisa.

"Can't say I didn't overhear your earlier conversation. Though I don't usually require a favour to share a bed with anyone. Or anywhere else for that matter," he smirked at Jen. "But that isn't what you came here for, is it? Not really. Which means it's something a little more… _complicated_."

Lisa slowly nodded.

"Hmmm, thought so. You asked earlier if I'm the real Lucifer, (and I do assure you, it's all perfectly true), and yet you don't seem particularly scared to do a deal with the Devil. Scared in general, yes. _Terrified_ of all the _sex_ and _sin_ just walking about this place; too scared to even come into Lux, and yet the idea of making a deal with me, doesn't particularly frighten you. So, what are you afraid of?"

"Not… you. I'm not scared of 'the Devil'."

He gave a sarcastic chuckle.

"Oh? Fighting talk from one so quaking in their boots. Tell me, do you run a drugs syndicate? You an axe murderer; mob boss, hmmm? Have a body stowed in your trunk belonging to your boyfriend's first sweetheart? Ooh, hold on; _are you a lawyer_?"

Lisa shook her head angrily.

"I was raped. When you've had the devil holding you down, forcing themselves inside of you, I don't think anything you have to offer can be much worse."

Lucifer stood back, dumbfounded.

"Jenifer, be a dear and head on into the club. Your little friend and I have some business to discuss on our own." he said, not taking his eyes off of Lisa. Jen didn't move.

"I assure you, she'll be perfectly safe. Go on now; Manuel'll let you straight in." He gave a discreet signal to the bouncer at the door, still just visible at the end of the alley. From the distance Manuel responded with a barely perceivable nod.

Jen gave a squeeze to Lisa's elbow and reluctantly left.

~

The remaining two studied each other as the clicking of Jen's heels ricocheted against the pavement, fading into the background until naught but a stagnant silence remained.

"So. A rape victim comes to the Devil asking for '_a good time'_. That's a new one on me, I have to say… I take it this didn't happen just yesterday."

"No," she whispered.

"Not that that changes things, does it?"

She shook her head. "I've been trying to get past it. I'm not so scared to be out on my own anymore, I'm not having panic attacks every time I think someone's following me on the street."

"Uh-huh." Lucifer nodded soberly.

His gaze remained calculating for a few moments. Then he took a sudden, threatening step towards her, eyes dark and suddenly physically imposing. She scrambled backwards away from him her face instantly white in terror.

As instantaneously as it had appeared the predatory aura vanished, and he was just standing with his hands held up placatingly, demeanour completely void of its dangerous edge.

"Not quite so 'gotten past it' as we like to think, are we?"

She didn't answer. He paused for a moment, seeming to gather himself.

"And what is it you think I can do for you? You've gone to a lot of trouble to see me when you clearly have an aversion to the erotic. And believe me, I _specialise_ in the erotic. So what _do_ you desire?"

He gazed down on her hypnotically; her eyes bored back into him, steely and calm.

"I want to not be afraid anymore."

Cold understanding trickled down his spine like glacial ice-melt.

"You can still feel him, can't you? When a lover tempts you. You still feel his hands on you, even now. After everything you've done to move forward; he's still holding you down."

She nodded. A fierce prickling pressed up against the back of her eyes. She refused to let it surface; forced it down.

Lucifer still cleanly read the veiled emotion as if she were breaking down just days after it happened.

His own face remained perfectly neutral.

"Tell me- why should I do this for you, as opposed to any of the other rape victims in this city?"

Lisa stared him squarely in the eye.

"Because I'm the one who asked."

A slow grin spread upon his face.

"Then please, by all means, follow me up to the boudoir. For a _chat_, little mouse. A meeting only. There's no point running before you can walk, pushing in without a little foreplay. Can't find Nirvana without a little preparation first."

"You… you'll help me?"

"Ask and ye shall receive; let us see what the real Devil can do for you, shall we?"

And with that he swung his arm out in invitation, and led her back towards the building.

*~*~*

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think.


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